NUGGETS OF WISDOM FOR YOU

CONNECTING TO YOUR CHILD

You Don’t Need The Right Words

I remember in the middle of what seemed like an endless struggle with teeth cleaning, it was the end of the day, I was tired, I had run out of energy and words. Then something wonderful happened.... I just stopped, I surrendered to the situation, I opened my heart and...

Responding To Your Child’s “No”

Positive Communication

Are you able to separate your own feelings from theirs or have you got swept up in their "No" as either - a personal rejection thus creating a fear-based response - a personal challenge thus creating a control-based response - a more unconscious fight/flight response...

Reframing Tantrums As Positive Emotional Releases

Emotional Intelligence

How much do adults pay therapists to have a really good cathartic cry? How good does it feel when you can go to a close friend who just makes you a cup of tea and really listens whilst you let it all out. Our children, especially the younger ones, have this inbuilt...

What’s The Compromise?

Positive Communication

I love these 3 words. - They promote social-emotional learning in your child. - They stimulate pre-frontal cortex thinking - The more advanced part of the brain for reasoning, logic and empathy. - They replace power struggles with connection as you are working...

Are You Making A Request or Setting A Limit?

Positive Communication

Are you setting a limit or making a request? If there is a higher tone at the end of the sentence then it is heard as a request. If you ask "Is that OK?" at the end of the sentence then it is heard as a request. If you are attached to a specific outcome it is a limit....

Your Child Is Always Saying “Yes” To Something

Positive Communication

Your child is always saying "yes" to something. It may sound like a "no" to you or to what you are wanting but there is always a "yes". If you can find that "yes" and acknowledge it your child will be more inclined to engage with you. Let me give you some examples. A...

Challenges As An Opportunity For EQ

Emotional Intelligence

Every challenge is an opportunity to create a script for your child to use in their future interactions. What script can you offer them for difficult emotions like stress, anger, guilt or jealousy? Firstly, you can give them a vocabulary of feelings to help them to...

Teaching Your Child To Resolve Conflict

Emotional Intelligence, featured

"Mum, Fred did x", "Mum, Sarah did y". Sound familiar? You, I'm afraid to say, have created this scenario by being the referee, they are looking to you for resolution. The objective here is to hand the responsibility back to your children. You do this by NEVER judging...

Laughter As An Emotional Release

Emotional Intelligence

A child has an innate ability to release tension, either by laughing or crying (for the latter please read my post on Positive Emotional Releases). Laughter is fantastic to bring in when you are facing a tense situation. Playing the clown is one way you can encourage...

Mindfulness – A Bedtime Miracle

Emotional Intelligence

If your child cannot sleep ask them first if there is anything worrying them or if they are physically OK. Following that you could ask if they would like to try some mindfulness? If there is resistance you could suggest listening to some age-appropriate mindfulness...

The Gift of Eye Contact

Building Connection

Eye contact - this simple act of non-verbal communication brings with it so many benefits. As you are pausing you have time to remember the intentions of good dialogue. (To connect, to actively listen, to model social-emotional skills). If you are at eye level it also...

Generic vs Specific Praise – Connecting or distracting?

Positive Communication

I would like to bring awareness to the use of "praise" - Why? because I am passionate that the communication you have with your child brings you into a place of authentic connection and promotes your child's freedom to learn. To do this I will clarify the key...

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