Responding To Your Child’s “No”
Are you able to separate your own feelings from theirs or have you got swept up in their "No" as either
- a personal rejection thus creating a fear-based response
- a personal challenge thus creating a control-based response
- a more unconscious fight/flight response based on an implicit memory of how your "No's" were treated as a child?
Can your child trust that their "No" will be heard and respected?
Are you able to see their "No" as equal to yours?
Let "No" be an opportunity to find out what it is they are saying "Yes" to.
Let "No" be an opportunity to build trust.
Let "No" be the opportunity to connect (on the grounds that you both have feelings and needs and can brainstorm together how to meet them).
Let "No" be the start of a conversation, not the end.
Let "No" be an opportunity to model social-emotional skills.
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