Your Child Is Always Saying “Yes” To Something

Your child is always saying "yes" to something. It may sound like a "no" to you or to what you are wanting but there is always a "yes". If you can find that "yes" and acknowledge it your child will be more inclined to engage with you.

Let me give you some examples.

A toddler at forest school picks up a saucepan of muddy water to drink out of the mud kitchen. You can say "No, don't drink that" or you can say "Yes, I see you are thirsty, that water is not safe so I will get you some clean water".

Child sitting on the kitchen counter picks up an apple out of the fruit bowl to throw it. You can say "No, don't throw that" or you can say "Yes, I see you want to throw, the apples are for eating but let me get you a basket of softballs".

This way you are not making your child wrong, you are offering an explanation and you are offering a way to meet their needs.

This works for all ages.

A friend recently asked for some guidance. Her children were fighting. I asked her what about and she said that it was usually that the older girl wanted space from her brother. I asked if she had her own space and the mother said that they had recently taken away her bedroom door because she was in her room so much. The girl had a need (for some space) that was not getting met, it was going to come out in other ways until it was met. The door was put back on and the fighting reduced.

If you take one thing away from all my writings, just remember to find the YES.

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