The Anger Ascent – Catch it on the way up.
I like to think of anger as a climb with a peak. The trick is to catch it on the way up because when you reach near the peak the pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain for reasoning and empathy) is no longer engaged and you are in the fight/flight brain.
So here is the good news.
On the way up the climb, anger has physiological signposts: heat, faster heartbeat, tension of muscles. If you can spot these signs and learn to pause, you can simply defuse the anger.
Pause so that you can reconnect with yourself, I use meditation but even just 15 deep breaths will help. Pause and make a cup of tea and sit in the garden. Pause and dance to some music or pause and write in your journal. Just PAUSE!
If you are near the peak go and find a cushion and scream into it. This may sound crazy and you may feel silly but I promise it works. You are moving the energy through and out (with your breath and voice) and not pushing it back down. You are shifting your physiology by cooling the heat and slowing the heart. Obviously, if you have not done this before then tell your child first! My son thinks it's delightful when after 1-2 muffled (but full power screams) I come up all smiling and reset! Not to mention you are modelling fantastic emotional skills for your child.
The reason yoga and meditation support parents so much is that it brings you into your body, therefore you have more awareness of your shifting physiology. Also, you have more space to observe, with some detachment, changes in your emotional state.
In a recent talk by Dr Joseph Lee, he explained that anger is supposed to be uncomfortable, as its role, in psychological terms, is to cause discomfort in order to recruit others to help. The issue in parenting terms though is that the call for help can be misdirected towards our children. Parent yourself, park your feelings until you are able to process offline with a listening partner to see what help it is that your anger is requesting.
#MotherNatureMotherNurture#MotherhoodThroughInstragr
NUGGETS OF WISDOM
FEATURED
Staying balanced at Christmas
Parenthood is about balance, I like to think of it like those old-fashioned scales in the image. On one side you have your children (with their valid physical, intellectual, social and emotional needs), then there is maintaining relationships, looking after your home...
Nurturing children during Christmas gatherings
Christmas is a time of excitement and wonderment, it is a time when you get the opportunity to visit or host friends and family. These gatherings bring so much joy to children, they have new adventures, get lots of focused playtime and build precious bonds. It can...
Reclaiming the joy of Christmas
Forgive me if you are groaning at the word “Christmas” already, but keep reading if December is a time of stress or overwhelm because, with some reframing, it can be more of a holiday for you too. Perhaps your groan is the panicked consumerism or overcrowded...
TERMS AND CONDITIONS
Privacy, Disclaimers & Copyright
© MotherNatureMotherNurture 2021
Select Images from Jadebeall.com see T&C
CONNECT
I would love to hear from you.
Email me here →
0 Comments